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Scientific American – Peace Is More Than War’s Absence

When we speak of peace, we often think it means the absence of war, but it is actually more complex. The authors of the thought-provoking article from Scientific American, “Peace Is More Than War’s Absence, and New Research Explains How to Build It” are Peter T. Coleman, Allegra Chen-Carrel, and Vincent Hans Michael Stueber. They dive into the multifaceted nature of peace and the innovative research surrounding it.

The absence of violent conflict has long been used to gauge peace. The authors of this article contend, however, that true peace goes far beyond the absence of war. It includes good interpersonal relationships between various social groupings that foster harmony, collaboration, and social cohesion.

The Sustaining Peace Project did a comprehensive review of peaceful societies and found that there are 72 variables to sustaining peace. Of those variables, they identified eight core systems that drive peace.

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The 8 Core Systems to Build Peace are:

1. The commonality of a broad social identity among nearby communities and societies
2. Their connections—whether through trade or intermarried relationships
3. The extent to which they are linked in terms of issues of security, economy, or the environment
4. The degree to which their conventions and fundamental beliefs favor or oppose war
5. The function that rituals, symbols, and ceremonies have in bringing communities together or tearing them apart
6. How many institutions with a wider reach operate across nearby communities
7. Whether there are intergroup channels for resolving disputes
8. The existence of political leadership that favors peace over conflict.

The research discussed in this article focuses on promoting these positive aspects of peace. By understanding the dynamics that lead to conflicts and social divisions, researchers can develop strategies to build lasting peace. The authors emphasize that peace-building should be proactive rather than reactive.

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Building trust among communities and resolving issues before they turn into confrontations is one important factor that is mentioned in the essay. This entails clear communication, compassion, and the participation of all parties involved in the peace-building process.

The authors also emphasize the value of education and awareness in fostering peace. People are more likely to actively contribute to peace in their communities when they are informed about the advantages of cooperation and the risks of division.

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This article’s conclusion serves as a reminder that peace is a purposeful and dynamic process rather than simply the absence of violence. We can create a world that is more peaceful by investigating the root causes of disputes and putting into practice policies that encourage collaboration and understanding. It is a potent reminder that understanding, sympathy, and teamwork are necessary for achieving peace.

For further details and insights, you can read the full article on Scientific American.

Invest in Inner Work

The concept of inner work can be a bit nebulous, so let’s clarify. Do whatever it takes to heal – heal from your own childhood trauma, recover from adult heartache, and find solace from the agony of being separated from your child. Yes, it’s painful, but no, it doesn’t have to continue to control your life. An unhealthy state of mind might be keeping your child at arm’s length. Healing yourself will allow you to become that safe haven your child needs.

Cultivate a Growth Mindset

Opening up to growth and change can be akin to having a superpower. When you’re willing to learn, adapt, accept feedback, and take responsibility for what hasn’t worked, you become a force to be reckoned with. If reuniting with your child is your goal, this mindset is invaluable. Keep your focus on the end goal and remain determined to mend the relationship.

Embrace Responsibility

Accepting responsibility, to some extent, can be a bitter pill to swallow. There’s hardly ever a situation where you bear no responsibility at all. This isn’t about blaming yourself; it’s about recognizing the kernels of truth and acknowledging that you chose to have children with the person who’s causing the alienation. You don’t need to write a lengthy apology, but if the topic arises in conversation, be willing to take responsibility where it’s warranted, and never where it’s not.

Release Resentment: A Tough but Essential Step

Letting go of resentment can be one of the most challenging tasks, but it’s crucial. Negative feelings towards your co-parent and your child can be like poison, slowly consuming everything in their wake. Often, these resentful emotions spill over onto your child, affecting your relationship. Some parents might start recounting the other parent’s perceived alienating behaviors, unintentionally repeating the same pattern. This negatively impacts your relationship with your child. While it’s natural to feel upset with the other parent, use that emotion as motivation to become a better, more positive parent.

Consistently Show Up for Your Child

No matter how your child responds or doesn’t respond, keep reaching out. Adjust your approach if necessary, but don’t give up. Even if your child reacts with hostility, continue demonstrating unconditional love. Make it about them, not you. The last thing you want is for your already hurt child to solidify the belief that you’re not there for them. If they don’t think you care, they won’t miraculously come around someday. Most alienated children who claim they don’t want to hear from their parent later accuse them of not loving or showing up enough, causing additional pain. So, keep showing up!

By following these five tips, you’ll be on the path to reconnecting with your child. When you make these shifts, your children will sense the change in your energy, paving the way for a brighter future together.

References:

says:, S.D. (2023) Attracting your own child back, Conscious Co-Parenting Institute. Available at: https://www.consciouscoparentinginstitute.com/attracting-your-own-child-back/ (Accessed: 12 September 2023).